There is no one right way for fat women to look

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Tutus And Tiny Hats

I saw this meme floating around Facebook (source), and it really rubbed me the wrong way.

I’m all for breaking down stereotypes and expectations about how fat women should dress. I’m all for criticizing media that only present fat women wearing certain styles, or retailers that sell us a narrow range of options based on the erroneous perception that we don’t want to show off our bodies. I’m all for promoting retailers who sell fresh, fun, and edgy designs in plus sizes.

But I’m not ok with implying that there’s something wrong with wearing loose-fitting garments, or that the woman on the right is more stylish, attractive, proud of her body, or deserving of celebration than the woman on the left.

I’m not ok with setting up fatshion hierarchies, privileging certain styles and amounts of skin shown. I’d much rather focus on expanding our options and encouraging all fat women–and men…

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It’s Earth Day. I have thoughts (and a bunch of links).

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Tutus And Tiny Hats

woman wearing hot pink shirt climbing out of tree roots in the woods The Laura in her natural habitat, in the Berkshires about a year ago. I just noticed that the rock in the upper left corner of the picture looks like a heart!

I’m trying to catch up on all the Earth Day-related news and essays around the internet, and there are a lot–you should see how many tabs I have open right now. To start, I’ll point you to the Nation, which has devoted all of its content today to climate change (!!). So far, I recommend these:
The change within: the obstacles we face are not just external.
“Jobs vs. the environment”: how to counter this divisive big lie.

In Keystone XL-related news, Obama has delayed his decision on the pipeline…again. On one hand, it’s kind of annoying that he keeps putting it off; but at the same time, it’s a sign of progress. As Bill McKibben

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The Never Ending Mile

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Walk with me on my journey of illness to the road of happiness and a life of fulfillment

This mile, I’ve been walking for many years
I’ve fallen too many times, into all the dark holes
splat on my face, attempting to jump all the hurdles
roadblocks everywhere, never a shortage
sitting now on the curb with my crimson tears

Put on my shoes, and take this walk
it’s the only way you’ll ever possibly understand
you’ll stumble and fall around every bend
as this is the mile that never ends

If you can’t walk the walk
don’t talk all the talk
shut up, leave me alone
all you ever do is stalk and stalk

I’m sick and suffering in agonizing pain
I’m not lazy
I’m not crazy
my life through my eyes
appears rather hazy

With no end in sight
slowly losing hope
trying desperately to not lose hold of this rope
uncertain as to whether I can even win this fight

Poison by the handfuls
I…

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Honoring Our Choices

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Honoring Our Choices

Musings of an Aspie

The final post in the autistic motherhood series is posted at Autism Women’s Network: Autistic Motherhood: Honoring Our Personal Choices

It was a challenging one to write. My original thought was “I’ll write about the decision to have or not have children as an autistic woman.”  Which turns out to be an incredibly personal and complex topic. You’d think I would have seen that coming, right?

Ultimately, what I concluded, is that each woman’s choice when it comes to parenthood is the best choice for her and each person’s situation is unique. There is no “decision” in the broad conceptual sense, just many individual decisions made for countless reasons and sometimes not for any particular reason at all. I hope that comes across in the article, because I very much want it to be respectful of our choices and of the circumstances that are unique to parenting as a disabled person.

A Postscript…

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Disability and Childlessness: It’s Complicated

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Blogging Astrid

I am disabled. I am childless. For a long while, I identified as childless by choice. In a way, it is a choice, because I do not experience reproductive problems that I know of. In another way, it’s not a choice, because I would’ve wanted to be a parent. I’m not “childfree”. I am disabled, and this has influenced my decision to remain childless. That doesn’t make it not a decision, but it makes the decision tougher than had I truly been childfree.

On Musings of an Aspie, there’s a post on honoring your choices as an autistic woman (or man). It is a postscript to the autistic motherhood series on the Autism Women’s Network. The post concludes that older autistic parents have a responsibility to share what they’ve learned with the younger generation of autistics. This, in my opinion, goes for autistic childless people too. As autistics, we often…

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