It is important to draw upon my strengths, and channel them into working around my weaknesses.
I have realized that a LOT of my difficulties in communicating, daily life, anything really….
….have so much to do with that I was trying SO HARD to express myself in ways that whatever group I was in expressed themselves. As someone who spends a lot of time navigating different circles, and am very empathic, I have a habit of losing myself in the process of relating on a deep level to those around me. It’s been all or nothing. Either I continue to hold others’ pain in my body and memory as I continue to move about life….every single day, thinking of every person I’ve ever met, and feeling all those emotions at once….or it gets so overwhelming that I break down, and hide in my mind.
I have an active imagination, to say the least….escapism has become an art form
There is balance to be found.
I can communicate to verbal thinkers through poetic language, helping them to imagine what I imagine. I can communicate through visual and creative media entirely……through my own art, through video, through music……I can speak in lolcatz and bitstrips. What’s really surprising to me is that when I DO draw on my own strengths in this way……it reaches people who are the opposite of me even better than when I tried to speak their own language.
I can communicate with people who are from different generations and political and religious and geographic cultures by connecting around what, even if it’s just one thing, that we DO share….and allow others’ to speak for THEMSELVES as I want to be allowed to do as well. I don’t HAVE to do things that I’m not good at, because there is enough that I AM good at to be able to compensate and function in the world anyway….so long as I focus on that and that only
……I feel like such a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and I’m falling back into myself. I don’t have to hide anymore. Because I know I have a tribes, even if we’re not all always in the same physical location at the same time. Maybe sometimes hermitting is necessary to figure such things out. I can seek knowledge and company, synthesize it all, and then (when I’m ready)….go out and apply it to the world
Loud Hands Project: